“What would you do in my place?”
It is a perfectly natural question.
When we face a decision, we want an answer.
Should I stay in my job or leave?
Should I accept a new position?
Should I start my own project?
Should I say yes or no?
How should I resolve a situation in my team?
So we ask the people around us.
Our partner.
Colleagues.
Friends.
Google.
AI.
Each can offer another perspective.
But everyone looks at our decision through their own experiences, values, fears and idea of what is right.
That is why, after ten pieces of advice, we may feel even more confused rather than clearer.
Coaching works differently.
When a client asks me:
“What would you do?”
my answer is not the most important one.
Because I will not be living with the consequences of their decision.
They will.
So instead of looking for another answer, we can begin to explore the questions.
What truly matters to you in this situation?
What are you afraid of?
What would you choose if you didn’t have to meet other people’s expectations?
What do you gain if you change nothing?
And what will it cost you if everything stays the same?
A good question may not bring an immediate answer.
Sometimes it does something more important.
It changes the angle from which we look at the situation.
And suddenly we can see an option we hadn’t seen before.
For me, coaching is therefore not about having the right answers for a client.
It is about creating a space in which they can find their own.
Because there is a big difference between:
“Tell me what to do.”
and
“I know why I made this decision.”
And for me, that is where a decision you can stand behind begins.